“Heart of Humboldt sent me to the moon long before NASA did.”
“If only Aaron and I had smoked a bowl together instead of that silly duel, things might have turned out much better.”
Jesus of Nazareth:
“You know, of course, why I preached about love and forgiveness and turning the other cheek, right? I had a lot of help getting through tough times from my friends at Heart of Humboldt. And did you ever wonder what was grown in the Garden of Gethsemene? Fine weed helped me make it through that night.
When I heard that on a scale of 1 to 100, NORML rated me a minus ten, it made me so angry I had to go smoke a bowl of Humboldt’s finest.
Things fall apart. It’s true. That’s why everyone needs some good weed from Heart of Humboldt.
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“Instead of waiting for Godot, who wasn’t going to show up anyway, I finally got smart and did what I should have done from the beginning: I bought some great weed from Heart of Humboldt. Now I honestly no longer give a rat’s ass whether or not Godot ever shows up. Pass me the joint, will you?”
“The only way I was able to put up with Dagwood every day in those fucking comics strips is by smoking copious amounts of weed outside the frame. Thank you, Heart of Humboldt.”
“Jesse and I should have stuck to selling weed.”
Susan B. Anthony:
“I’m known for saying, ‘Failure is impossible.’ I wrote that after sparking a fat one of Heart of Humboldt’s finest. After a few puffs, it really is true that failure is impossible. At least it sure feels that way.”
“As God is my witness, I’ll never smoke bad bud again.”
Job (from the Bible):
“Only one thing got me through my difficult times, and it was the great weed from Heart of Humboldt. I was contractually obligated not to mention the marijuana in my book, but it was published long enough ago that I’m finally free to tell the world about Heart of Humboldt.”
“I reject the idea that America will be a better place if marijuana is sold in every corner store. Everyone knows marijuana should be sold online. Heart of Humboldt is the bomb.”
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My famous quote is “I attribute my success to this: I never gave nor took an excuse.” The part they leave off is, ‘Also, I smoked a lot of marijuana, and recommended it to my patients for pain control.”
Not many people know this, but the first draft of my speech to the Second Virginia Convention read, “Give me ganja, or give me death.” I was pretty stoned when I wrote it. The next day I edited it to the version we know and love, and the rest, as they say, is history. But I have to come clean and say that if my weed had been from Heart of Humboldt, I never would have changed it from the original.
I like to get high in all kinds of ways. One time I mixed them, and you know the rest.
I took an axe to lots of bars, but you’ll note I never took an axe to a dispensary of the sacred herb.
The only way my shit makes any sense is if you’re totally blasted. When I’m straight, not even _I_ have any idea what the fuck I’m saying.
Jesse and I should have stuck to selling weed.
Garfield the Cat:
Why do you think I eat all this lasagna? Do I need to spell this out?